No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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