I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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