We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
