dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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