I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
