I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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