drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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