ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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