i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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