oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
