I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pants are for mortals
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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