I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
