Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
