He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
