wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
