I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
