My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
