Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
