Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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