its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
