were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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