new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
