i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
