Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
