He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
