i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
