Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
