There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
