Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
