In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize