yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
