TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize