So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my vagina is haunted
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
