We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
