Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
