at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
