I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
