Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
