hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
