We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
