Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
