If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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