so that wasnt chicken after all
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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