Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Still dying that you shit outside
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize