I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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