If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize