My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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