is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
