oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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