I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
