last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
