He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
