he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
