She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
