They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
