People in love make me want to vomit
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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