dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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