I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this boner is exhausting
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
