I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
